Cases, controversies, the occasional water-cooler rant, and news about Cook County judges and judicial elections
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Wednesday, March 11, 2020
BREAKING: St. Patrick's Day Parades cancelled!
This coronavirus business has just got serious.
Canceling parades just before the primary? I would not have believed it possible.
McBride, Ryan, Kent and McEneely spent a whole bunch of money for their white and green billboards for all of those non-Beverly people to see and now nobody is coming. Wow. Talk about unexpected factors affecting an election. If all 3 of the black dudes and P. Scott win, they will need to invite the coronavirus to their December 7, 2020 investiture. Look on the bright side ladies, McBride has the years in and can retire. The other three can just circulate another group petition for 2022 and recycle their yard signs -- well, those of you who don't win this time around that is. I'm sure one of you will win. But which one? How is the team holding up? Still a slate or is it every dog for itself? I know Moose and Squirrel have already infiltrated the other slates and sown seeds of division. That Megan Mulay appears to be making inroads in Beverly. Griffin too. Tiesha Smith looking strong in the far south and south suburbs.
Fire Sale! 50,000 Kelly green beads with shamrock embossed “Punch 216” medallion. Perfect for Christmas tree, Easter baskets or garden to ward of crows. Best offer. Will trade for Purell or canned goods.
The Coronavirus is so bad that Streets and San isn't taking down yard signs all over the city. It was so bad that candidates have now been emboldened to place them on the METRA platforms and even in the WHITE neighborhoods. Fortunately, some concerned citizens trashed the yard/lawn signs for ALL of the candidates who refuse to obey the law -- keep them in your yards and lawns and off the public way. Sorry, McBride, Neville, Reyes, Griffin (both of you), Denmark, Pillsbury, Mulay, Ryan, McEneely, Epstein, "U" (formerly known as Ubi).
Your signs can all be found in the playground at Wentworth Gardens. Where is Wentworth Gardens? Here's a hint: it's one of the sham addresses that your circulators said was their address when they signed their affidavits last fall.
I know Jack doesn’t control the ads that appear on his blog, but for the last two days the ads have been for some device that allegedly cures depression. This is the most successful advertisement targeting I have ever experienced.
I have spent decades working toward the end game of becoming a judge. All those painful CLEs to appeal to the Alliance; all the deferred vacations to save money; all those brutal corned beef and cabbage dinners; the glad handing with charlatan elected officials; all the bite marks in my tongue; the needless hiring of union workers to clean my gutters and stop my dripping faucet; the hours spent drinking at home alone rather than getting crocked in public; the Uber rides to the Admiral Theater so no one saw my car; the Sundays schlepping to Christ the King to make people think I lived in Beverly ... and all that got derailed by a virus. I’ll end up spending $10,000 per vote and nursing a bad cough.
And then the Lord declared “so you Irish think I’m going to let so many of you crowd an election on St. Patrick’s Day without throwing you a curve ball?!” Have a Corona on me!
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McBride, Ryan, Kent and McEneely spent a whole bunch of money for their white and green billboards for all of those non-Beverly people to see and now nobody is coming. Wow. Talk about unexpected factors affecting an election. If all 3 of the black dudes and P. Scott win, they will need to invite the coronavirus to their December 7, 2020 investiture. Look on the bright side ladies, McBride has the years in and can retire. The other three can just circulate another group petition for 2022 and recycle their yard signs -- well, those of you who don't win this time around that is. I'm sure one of you will win. But which one? How is the team holding up? Still a slate or is it every dog for itself? I know Moose and Squirrel have already infiltrated the other slates and sown seeds of division. That Megan Mulay appears to be making inroads in Beverly. Griffin too. Tiesha Smith looking strong in the far south and south suburbs.
ReplyDeleteFire Sale! 50,000 Kelly green beads with shamrock embossed “Punch 216” medallion. Perfect for Christmas tree, Easter baskets or garden to ward of crows. Best offer. Will trade for Purell or canned goods.
ReplyDeleteThe Coronavirus is so bad that Streets and San isn't taking down yard signs all over the city. It was so bad that candidates have now been emboldened to place them on the METRA platforms and even in the WHITE neighborhoods. Fortunately, some concerned citizens trashed the yard/lawn signs for ALL of the candidates who refuse to obey the law -- keep them in your yards and lawns and off the public way. Sorry, McBride, Neville, Reyes, Griffin (both of you), Denmark, Pillsbury, Mulay, Ryan, McEneely, Epstein, "U" (formerly known as Ubi).
ReplyDeleteYour signs can all be found in the playground at Wentworth Gardens. Where is Wentworth Gardens? Here's a hint: it's one of the sham addresses that your circulators said was their address when they signed their affidavits last fall.
It's so bad out here that we are going to eat the Leprechaun because food is becoming scarce.
ReplyDeleteI know Jack doesn’t control the ads that appear on his blog, but for the last two days the ads have been for some device that allegedly cures depression. This is the most successful advertisement targeting I have ever experienced.
ReplyDeleteI have spent decades working toward the end game of becoming a judge. All those painful CLEs to appeal to the Alliance; all the deferred vacations to save money; all those brutal corned beef and cabbage dinners; the glad handing with charlatan elected officials; all the bite marks in my tongue; the needless hiring of union workers to clean my gutters and stop my dripping faucet; the hours spent drinking at home alone rather than getting crocked in public; the Uber rides to the Admiral Theater so no one saw my car; the Sundays schlepping to Christ the King to make people think I lived in Beverly ... and all that got derailed by a virus. I’ll end up spending $10,000 per vote and nursing a bad cough.
Yeah, I’m depressed.
And then the Lord declared “so you Irish think I’m going to let so many of you crowd an election on St. Patrick’s Day without throwing you a curve ball?!” Have a Corona on me!
ReplyDeleteWon’t be any crowds this weekend, Jack. Out with a whimper as we eat the few Leprechauns we can find to soak up all the corona we drank.
ReplyDeleteNot Edison Park. Those Leprechauns are having their party this weekend. They don’t acknowledge the authority of Mayor Groot or Governor J.B. the Hutt.
ReplyDelete